I have always been a fan of the movie "Annie". I haven't had the opportunity to see the play, but if I get the chance, I'll be all over that. Even as a child, Annie's optimism amazed me. I was six when the movie came out, and I had never known that kind of optimism. My world always seemed kinda gloomy and I was always waiting for the next shoe to drop, so to speak. At six, I was in the middle of a long series of testing that would go on for another two years before I ever got a diagnosis of Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. Watching Annie, who didn't have a home (orphanage does not count), who didn't have a family, who didn't have anything, made me feel a little like a schmuck, even at six. I had a roof over my head, a mother who adored me and would do ANYTHING for me, a brother who could be tolerated, and an extended family that helped us as much as they could. So what if I had a father who was never around, and when he was, he was a mean drunk, so what if I was in pain and nobody knew the reason why, so what if my brother was a typical brother and picked on me all the time. Compared to Annie, I had it good.
Times changed, I've gone through times of major pessimism where everyone around me wanted to shoot me. I've gone through times of great optimism, where again, everyone wanted to shoot me. On the whole, I think I'm an optimist. Although, I'm very sarcastic by nature (did you ever meet my Mom? I come by it honestly:), so i think some people still think I'm a pessimist. And when people ask me how I am, I tend to give it to them straight. And since, I'm not all that healthy right now, it doesn't sound so great. But I'm not good a sugarcoating, and i won't try to be good at it, I don't have time.
I will tell you this. I KNOW I am blessed. Doctor's told be when I was eight that I probably would not be walking when I was 12. I'm 35 and still walking. With alot of pain, but still walking. I was told that I may not be able to have kids because of all the experimental stuff I've been on (most of which is no longer experimental, but in use), I have a beautiful biological son who melts my heart almost every time I look at him. When I was in my early teens, I thought I would never get married, who would want to put up with all this? My husband, Geoff, is the most amazing man ever. really. We've been married just over nine years and have been together for about 12 years. I have better in-laws than most people could ever dream of. We own a condo (although it is in Chicago and we're in Syracuse). See, extremely blessed.
I'm getting into this because, as noted in previous posts, I'm having surgery tomorrow. I'm excited about this surgery, but not necessarily about the outcome. Heck, the doc isn't even all that optimistic, and he's and incredibly optimistic guy. I'm excited because I know, even if it doesn't take away the pain, it puts me that much closer to a total knee replacement. I've known this was going to happen since I was eight. So I've been able to hold it off for a long time. And I'm VERY optimistic about what a replacement could do for me:)
So tomorrow, please send and prayers and happy thoughts my way. All are needed and greatly appreciated.
Less than 24 hours to go!!!!!